chaldeans and muslims dating

[chaldofromwestbloom]

hey guys im back again. i am in the toughest position in my life. my religion is very important to me and so is my family. recently i have fallen in love with a muslim girl and we have even talked about getting married in the future. i know my family would never approve and i didnt really know what i was getting myself into when we started talking but i really love this girl. shes honestly much better than most chaldean girls these days and she is half christian but she follows islam. i have no idea what to do because i know i cannot marry her but im in love.

[ILolAtAbeed]

Ask yourself what's more important to you - your family and religion, or some girl. Why would you even put yourself in this position? You get into a serious relationship with someone you know you won't marry. Break it off sooner rather than later. I know there are a bunch of people that are going to say things like "if you love her it doesn't matter what your parents and family think", but they're wrong, it does matter. All it does is bring tons of headache and heartache to everyone involved, on both sides.

I assume her parents don't know about you because if they were true muslims she wouldn't be allowed to see or talk to you anymore. If you guys stay together and force this relationship through both families rejecting it, what do you think is going to happen to your kids? If she doesn't convert (and truly believe, not just convert for the sake of getting married) you think your kids are going to grow up Catholic when you're at work all day and she's at home with them? Be realistic. As rare as they are, there are good Chaldean girls out there.

[Emma_Girl]

Personally, religion means more to me than ethnicity. Being with a Christian that believes and respects my traditions is VERY important to me.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself the question of whether your religion means a lot to you or not. It's not just you, but your kids as well. What will they follow?

[Neo]

well let her convert and youre all set

[LiveFreelyKJ]

It will be very hard in the end. Just by my mom being American and my dad not being American, it's a constant culture clash. I couldn't imagine going through a religious clash!!! Usually those are the worst....

[Caramel]

Originally Posted by ILolAtAbeed

Ask yourself what's more important to you - your family and religion, or some girl. Why would you even put yourself in this position? You get into a serious relationship with someone you know you won't marry. Break it off sooner rather than later. I know there are a bunch of people that are going to say things like "if you love her it doesn't matter what your parents and family think", but they're wrong, it does matter. All it does is bring tons of headache and heartache to everyone involved, on both sides.

I assume her parents don't know about you because if they were true muslims she wouldn't be allowed to see or talk to you anymore. If you guys stay together and force this relationship through both families rejecting it, what do you think is going to happen to your kids? If she doesn't convert (and truly believe, not just convert for the sake of getting married) you think your kids are going to grow up Catholic when you're at work all day and she's at home with them? Be realistic. As rare as they are, there are good Chaldean girls out there.

Listen to this guy.

[Zowaa740]

This is the reason I have been saying for more than 3 years now that we have no business wandering out of northern Iraq, because stuff like this happens, and we get ourselves into a mess, as I have said time and again, been there done that, not a Muslim thank God, but a non Chaldean, and it was a long painful dig out of the hole.

[FirePup]

**** that. Do what you want, not just because of "some girl", but because you have the freedom to make the choice. It's amazing how others (Iheartabeed) throw out (potentially life changing) advice as if they were intimately involved in the situation.

The root of the issue is freedom and individuality. I'd rather my family disown me than control me. Real love is not control, but the opposite.

You have one life and one life only, why waste opportunities that do not present themselves often?

Zowaa- You had a bad experience, so what? Do you base all your beliefs on life on only your own experience? Would that not be pretty egocentric? If I dated a Chaldean chick and her "Chaldeaness" made it an awful experience, should I be done dating Chaldeans? Conundrum, as I'm Chaldean!


I'm not a Theologists, however much of the "rules and regulations" of Catholicism are constructs of men, not of the "word of god". Take that for what it's worth, but it may encourage you to make a decision based on your own judgment, rather than that of others.

[BONO]

Originally Posted by Caramel

Listen to this guy.

Listen to this girl and listen to this guy.

[itsChris]

Originally Posted by FirePup

I'm not a Theologists, however much of the "rules and regulations" of Catholicism are constructs of men, not of the "word of god". Take that for what it's worth, but it may encourage you to make a decision based on your own judgment, rather than that of others.

You are correct that you are not a theologist for making such a blank statement.

Anything can be seen as 'rules of men'. This is a great accusation by non Catholic/Orthodox churches saying we follow Cardinals and Popes and Priests instead of the Bible. What you need to realise is that everything begins with the Bible; every interpretation and everything that comes out of a Reverands, a Pastors, and a Priests mouth. These are teachings influenced by God. These men live a monastic lifestyle, earn their Ph.D.'s in theology, and teach us, according to God's word (The Bible.)


Anyways, about the original issue. If religion is truly important to you, and so is this lady, then you need to make ends meet. It doesn't end with only one option. How much do you know about your religion, and how much does she know about hers? As Islam is a derivative of Christianity, those who follow Islam have a briefing of what Christianity is, and for us, it's something to learn. You need to be able to answer questions she has and be ready to ask important ones to her also. Dialogue is important, and in our culture and probably every Middle-Eastern culture, culture/tradition is mainly passed through the fathers side.

This is what it comes down do. You need to understand the history of Islam and be able to communicate with her in the correct manner. Remember, Islam is classified as an Abrahamic religion, as is Judaism, the Bahai faith, and other smaller religions that are still in existence. We have the answer for every question.

[Zraff]

Originally Posted by BONO

Listen to this girl and listen to this guy.

I would listen to them.

[SarahPesto]

I think they are all hawt!

[FirePup]

Originally Posted by itsChris

You are correct that you are not a theologist for making such a blank statement.

Anything can be seen as 'rules of men'. This is a great accusation by non Catholic/Orthodox churches saying we follow Cardinals and Popes and Priests instead of the Bible. What you need to realise is that everything begins with the Bible; every interpretation and everything that comes out of a Reverands, a Pastors, and a Priests mouth. These are teachings influenced by God. These men live a monastic lifestyle, earn their Ph.D.'s in theology, and teach us, according to God's word (The Bible.)

You are exemplifying my point by even mentioning the structure of the church. The merits of the bible are not relevant because he believes in it, however beyond the bible, you can't deny the influence of canon law, official or not.

By the way, those same men with Ph.D's told my sister and her husband during their pre-marriage classes that to have a boy they need to conceive during the first two days of ovulation, that there are two types of women based on their "cycle": normal and abnormal, and that condoms are bad because they might give you a rash (said when trying to dissuade the use of birth control).

Anyways, we could discuss this, but that's not why this thread was created.

By the way, do not take anything I say as confrontational...it's all for discussion (-:

[itsChris]

You are exemplifying my point by even mentioning the structure of the church. The merits of the bible are not relevant because he believes in it, however beyond the bible, you can't deny the influence of canon law, official or not.

Canon law is influenced by biblical law.

By the way, those same men with Ph.D's told my sister and her husband during their pre-marriage classes that to have a boy they need to conceive during the first two days of ovulation, that there are two types of women based on their "cycle": normal and abnormal, and that condoms are bad because they might give you a rash (said when trying to dissuade the use of birth control).

Even though I wasn't there to hear this, I'll take your word that this is what happend.

... just kidding.

Anyways, we could discuss this, but that's not why this thread was created.

By the way, do not take anything I say as confrontational...it's all for discussion (-:

Cheers mate!

[Manousakas]

Originally Posted by chaldofromwestbloom

hey guys im back again. i am in the toughest position in my life. my religion is very important to me and so is my family. recently i have fallen in love with a muslim girl and we have even talked about getting married in the future. i know my family would never approve and i didnt really know what i was getting myself into when we started talking but i really love this girl. shes honestly much better than most chaldean girls these days and she is half christian but she follows islam. i have no idea what to do because i know i cannot marry her but im in love.

sounds like both you and her are complete morons. she's an idiot for saying she's "half christian" and you're and even bigger idiot for believing that being half christian is even possible. there's no grey area with faith. you either believe or you don't. I don't half believe that 2 + 2 = 4.

there's no helping you

[lavenderdayz120]

Look there is an expression it goes like this, " You can choose your friends, But you can't choose who You Love." And just because you're in love with this person, it doesn't mean you have to be with them. Especially if their from a different religion. She's not the only girl out there, IF YOU CAN'T SEE A FUTURE WITH THIS PERSON DON'T WASTE TIME WITH THEM. If i'm talking to a guy, and i know for a fact we wont be together in the long run. I'd rather break things off with Him.

AND FOR THAT STATEMENT YOU MADE HOW THERE'S NO GOOD CHALDEAN GIRLS OUT THERE. EXCUSE ME BUDDY, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW EVERY CHALDEAN GIRL OUT THERE, AND YEAH THEIR EASILY STEREOTYPED THESE DAYS BY THEIR BEHAVIOR. THAT STILL DOES NOT MEAN THERE'S NOT GOOD GIRLS OUT THERE, THEIR JUST SPREAD OUT.

[SB717]

Originally Posted by lavenderdayz120

Look there is an expression it goes like this, " You can choose your friends, But you can't choose who You Love." And just because you're in love with this person, it doesn't mean you have to be with them. Especially if their from a different religion. She's not the only girl out there, IF YOU CAN'T SEE A FUTURE WITH THIS PERSON DON'T WASTE TIME WITH THEM. If i'm talking to a guy, and i know for a fact we wont be together in the long run. I'd rather break things off with Him.

AND FOR THAT STATEMENT YOU MADE HOW THERE'S NO GOOD CHALDEAN GIRLS OUT THERE. EXCUSE ME BUDDY, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW EVERY CHALDEAN GIRL OUT THERE, AND YEAH THEIR EASILY STEREOTYPED THESE DAYS BY THEIR BEHAVIOR. THAT STILL DOES NOT MEAN THERE'S NOT GOOD GIRLS OUT THERE, THEIR JUST SPREAD OUT.

I'm so confused. I thought you can't help who you fall in love, yet if you can't see a future with someone don't waste your time with them? But what if you're already in love with that person and now you can't help who you've fallen in love with. OH NO!

You can help who you fall in love with. No one is forced to love someone and it takes time to truly love someone. I'm sure you found about it from the beginning and accepted it, so why are you making it an issue now?

[lavenderdayz120]

EWWWW!! your a waste... =)

[aycarumba]

That sux. Well I know of a lot of Chaldean women who convert to Islam for their husbands. So, see if she'll convert to Christianity. Something tells me she won't do it, ya know what I'm saying? It's like a lil test. HEHE

[Corleone]

Originally Posted by chaldofromwestbloom

hey guys im back again. i am in the toughest position in my life. my religion is very important to me and so is my family. recently i have fallen in love with a muslim girl and we have even talked about getting married in the future. i know my family would never approve and i didnt really know what i was getting myself into when we started talking but i really love this girl. shes honestly much better than most chaldean girls these days and she is half christian but she follows islam. i have no idea what to do because i know i cannot marry her but im in love.

What your up to now is only going to lead to disaster.

[Mr. Brownstone]

the only good muslim is a dead muslim